So I flew back to the states via D.C. yesterday...oh
what fun that was.

They asked me the normal questions, (i.e. where did
you go,why,etc).Then they asked me about vegas. this
is where  I guess I should have lied,but didn't
anticipate a problem because I had done nothing wrong.
I told him I was re-locating there for work. Which is
the truth, and makes more sense than saying I was
going on another vacation- seeing as I am no Paris
Hilton.

Then he asked me about what kinda of work I was
in.Told him I was a bartender,which sounded better
than waitress and more legit than "in the restaurant
biz".Then the guy  start scrutinizing my
passport,saying it looked altered because it is a bit
frayed,but its because I use it.in the last nine
years,how many trips have i taken?

It all went down hill from there.he yellow lines me
and sends me to the next guy.the next guy had seen too
many bad cop movies,his form of interrogation was
weak. if I was guilty and had half a brain, I would
see thru his ruse.

he asked me questions, then would switch it up, ask me
the same questions, a bit differently in a different
order.He accused me of being in the possession of a
false passport,traveling on it, and possibly even
making that document.Oh and smuggling, even though he
hadn't even searched my bag.My heart didn't even
flutter. I was not guilty. I didn't even have my usual
bottle of olive oil from the farm,or contraband
sausage and cheese. I had some dirty underwear,my
music,and a pair of jeans. I told him to search me,go
for it. have fun.I had over two hours til i caught my
flight to vegas.

here were his problems:
I had no cash on me but was in the process of
relocating.
I told him i had a money wire waiting for me in vegas,
traveling with cash isn't safe.

in my passport pic i look much younger.
I asked him if I looked that bad now but I was 20 when
the pic was taken, I am 29 now...those are some big
years.Of course I look older.

My passport says I am Californian, but when he asked
where I was last employed I said memphis. Then from
memphis, i got to rome, then from rome to vegas. my
movements didn't make sense.

I told him I was a bartender. we move with business.I
told him I sympathized with his suspicions, if i
didn't know I wasn't guilty,I would think I was guilty
of something as well,but I am not.

he finally let me go, but not without telling me again
that I "don't add up".

oh,if he only knew how much.

meanwhile surely eastern european hookers with bellies
full of drugs made it on through,unscathed. there was
a russian woman with a glass eye and red patten
leather boots in line behind me, with her "hubbie".
she got right on thru. me,they sequester and harass.

your tax dollars at work.